just maryse

I'm A Bad Daughter

everytime we're together, i always hope that this time it'll be different. 

again, i've been disappointed.

you see, i am a bad daughter.  and i hate myself.

it's kind of pathetic i know to blame all of your problems on your parents.  i'm 43 and i left home when i was 18 so how is it that after 25 years, when i see them no more than every couple of years (except for this year when i saw them just this past july) do they still have this hold on me like this?  or rather, that i still let them have this hold on me.

since they've arrived, i've had this 300lb man sitting on my chest.  as i write this, i'm having trouble breathing just at the thought of their waking at any moment.

my parents aren't bad people.  they did the best they could.  but growing up in their house could be tough.  i grew up afraid of being myself ... of trying new things ... of expressing myself.  because doing any of those things could result in my being put back into my place ... with a look, a biting word, or a whipping.  so i learned to become hard and prepare myself so that if any of those things came my way, i'd be ready for them and whatever they did or said wouldn't hurt. or wouldn't hurt so much.  that's what that 300 lbs man sitting on my chest is for.    

i am hyper ready now.  like a dog with his fangs bared, a cat with her fur on end, i'm ready.

and this makes me a bad daughter.

A Very Grumpy Meme

like martha and claudia, i'm playing too.  

1.  although i learned how to knit as a child, i didn't start knitting as a hobby until i was in highschool.  my mother used to knit me sweaters all of the time.  yes, acrylic sweaters, but they were awesome.  she would cast on and do all of the shaping.  she was easily bored so i became her production knitter.  miles of stockinette, that was my job.  then when i got to the arm shaping, etc., i passed the sweater back on to her.   i never made an entire sweater on my own during this time, but every handknit sweater that i wore in highschool includes some of my handiwork (and strands of my hair.  i know gross -- but i had really long hair then -- it was kind of unavoidable).

2.  i learned how to read knitting patterns in french way before i learned how to read them in english.  i still have those old phildar books from 1980.  dolman sleeves totally rocked then. 

3. i didn't knit for the first 3 years of college.  supplies were difficult to come by and well, nobody else did it. during my senior year, i took a studio art class.  for one of my projects i decided to knit part of it.  i got so much positive attention (from cute boys, no less), i never hid my knitting again.  (i also got an A on the project).

4.  my first sweater from start to finish was a vogue knitting pattern (i still have the magazine).  a black acrylic cropped turtleneck.  if i weren't so fat, i'd still wear it.  i loved that sweater. (and i still have it).

5.  i think i'm a much better knitter than my blog might indicate.  i'm just not as committed as i used to be.  i used to knit a sweater a month with cables, lace, intarsia, fair-isle -- you name it, it was in there (not all at once however.  i have to say that none of my past creations would embarrass me today).   there are so many beautiful yarns available now, that i think they distract me from really focusing on one thing at a time.

EDIT:  some of you have asked for pictures of thse old sweaters.  i blogged about them (and some of the things i've listed here in fact, here.)

6. during an episode of cheers, kirstie alley wore a nautically striped navy and white cardigan.  i quickly sketched it and made my own version of it, all the way to the "gold" buttons.  i loved that sweater. 

7. i have never knit j a sweater (or any man for that matter).  but i did knit him an afghan the first christmas we were dating.  therefore i conclude there is no such thing as the boyfriend afghan curse.

8. although i'm not a big fan of seaming, i hate hate hate knitting seamless sweaters. 

9. i love to purl. 

10.  i never blocked or swatched until i started reading blogs.

So This Is Webs?

i went to WEBS for the first time sunday.  and i bought yarn.  that's all you need to know.  i might even argue that you didn't need to even know that, but i feel repentent.  i feel the need to confess, just ever so slightly.  consider this a mini confession.  when adrian received my helloyarn order last week, she asked if i were just a little obsessed with orange these days.   

at WEBS it was teal and blues.  dark intense teal.  noro cash iroha dark teal blue.  way too many skeins.  and well, there was other stuff.

but that wasn't the highlight of my trip to northhampton, MA.  no... the highlight was stitchy's first book signing event. 

and she totally rocked.  but you knew she would.    she was clever as always.  poised.  and didn't appear nervous one bit. 

we were all very proud of her. 

(kristen and elisa agree!)

Saturday Already?

see what happens when my parents come and visit?  i totally forget about eye candy friday!

here's my saturday sky...

ok i've got to go.  i'm getting ready for the MOKS and Roll Traveling Drunk Show Caravan...woo-hoo!

D Day Minus One

my parental units are arriving tomorrow for a 2 week visit.  *gah* which means there's been some crazy ass activity going on here.  the outside of the house still looks like hillbillies live here, but progress has been made on the inside.

well first we have the new stove.  but also the installation of the new fancy shmancy microwave oven over the stove.  the cabinet over the oven was normal sized before J cut it up by over half to make room for the microwave.  i think i can store yarn up there, but that's about it.

a clean entry.  that doesn't seem like much, but for much of the past 2 years, this area has  been used as a depository for such items as a tile cutter, power drills, microscopes, drill press, shop vac, painting supplies .....  for 2 years the only time those doors have been opened, has been on halloween, when having a house that looks like hillbillies live there is a good thing.  boo! 

a closet door. i finally have a closet door.  last christmas when J asked me what i wanted for christmas, i said "a closet door."  same for the christmas before that.  if i wanted J to get off the phone because i had to get back to work, all i had to say was, "when are you going to finish the closet door?"  "ok, gotta go.  bye."  happiness really is a closet door.

in knitting/crochet news, here's the blanket cardigan  blocking.  i'm not looking forward to sewing it up though.  the directions say "block pieces to measurement."  what measurements?  yeah, the schema is sorely lacking in measurements. 

and here's the crocheted bag that caused my hand to look like a chicken leg.  that's a lot of single crochet.

I'm a Scurvy Dog

it's talk like a pirate day today.  i did not know this.  so how funny is it that i made a reference to pirates just yesterday?  arrrgggh.  a french pirate reference.  even if it's in the form of a finger puppet.  the lovely young lady modeling the finger puppet is my niece.  she's wicked smaht.  which i know is not pirate speak but how we talk in new england.  really.  all of us.  and maybe a new england pirate said that once.   maybe.

i just got me some serious booty over at hello yarn.  my blood sugar was a little low i think when it happened.  i can't be held responsible when my blood sugar is low. 

R is for ...

(LA) ROCHELLE

every time i go and visit my family, i have to make a stop at La Rochelle.  it's always crowded when i go, and finding parking is ridiculous, but i do enjoy walking around the old harbor and it's surrounding areas.  and what's not to love about a city whose history includes pirates!  arrggghhh!

Summer's Back

it's a little warm and humid but today's sky is definitely a september saturday sky.

some yarn that i scored today at the store for 50% off because all of the skeins were orphans.  sweet...

oregano flowers

 

Lepidoptera

relax...relax.

this is NOT a moth

Injured Reserve

isn't this pretty?  so round.  so perfect. yet simple  single crochet in the round in shiny mercerized cotton. what's not to love?

it's the base of a bag i started crocheting for the store.   i spent most of sunday crocheting this bag while watching the 2nd season of veronica mars.  (is it wrong for me to have the hots for an 18 year old badboy played by a 20 something actor at my age?  because if it's wrong i don't want to be right.)

by the end of the day, i felt a little pain but nothing too serious. 

look at what my hand looked like monday morning!!!  WTF???

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in unrelated, injury free, knitting news, the fall issue of knitty came out.  when i glimpsed this project in the main page thumbnail photos, i decided to save it for the very last. 

there are some very nice patterns this time around ....

but OH MY GOD DOES THIS PATTERN NOT HAVE MY FRIGGIN' NAME ALL OVER IT?  i think my heart skipped a beat, i really do.

*drool*

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finally, i just got permission from the blogger Ansley of BleuArts to post this picture.

isn't that the most incredible knitted item you've ever seen?  it was imperative that i share.
she's posted the directions.